Wait, how do Mushrooms fail

 Jin Awesome 7:14 pm
    did you hear about the woman who only liked to windowshop
    turns out she was just a little ~buy-curious~


 Sheik Sama 7:14 pm
    is this a set up to a jok-
    i’m leaving

 Jin Awesome 7:14 pm
    no wait come back

eviloverlordsinc:

[1:04:23 PM] Locke: nevermind!! i managed to catch the crabs

plus5pencil 10:37 pm
    i want to see an anal vore interpretation of the famous lady and the tramp scene


 Sheik Sama 10:38 pm
    instead of eating the spaghetti that leads into a kiss, it leads into someone’s head getting eaten by an anus??
    i am laughing more at the fact at an anus eating a piece of spaghetti tbh

 plus5pencil 10:39 pm
    thats a totally different thing than i was picturing
    which i find amazing
    that there is more than one way for “anal vore lady and hte tramp spaghetti scene” to go
    i was picturing two asses eating the same guy and meeting in the middle in a butthole kiss

 Sheik Sama 10:40 pm
    oh my god, that’s even better
    or one person eating another person which is also getting eaten by an anus and it ends in rimming

 plus5pencil 10:41 pm
    recursive anal vore

 Sheik Sama 1:14 am
    vic is chosen, eren becomes a bible thumping christian
    praise the lord, armin! eren says as he gets eaten by that one titan


 Bro Lay 1:14 am
    8[
    did u mean to substitute amen with armin

 Sheik Sama 1:15 am
    he looks to god for his titan strength
    oh my god
ari r: hey buddy!! if u ever need me id be more than glad 2......................................... lend u an ear!
Locke: i guess you could say, will never had a leg up on the competition
ari r: maybe his heart just wasnt in it :'^(
Locke: he always did go back to his mindless fishing
ari r: screams i was gonna say "u kno a great mind is a terrible thing to waste"
Locke: oh my god
rory: hannibal au where everything is the same but they talk in memes
allwayshallways: omg,,,,,,,,, ,
rory: the killer's artwork isn't an eye but a rage comic
whatwith: "reblob if u cry every time," hisses will
shitletsbeTherapist: "This is my design," says Will, adding the 9gag logo to the corner of the crime scene.
Dara: pfpfpfpf
allwayshallways: "i did it for the vine," spits hannibal, his face an inch from will's through the bars
whatwith: "look at my entire dog," to winston through the window as the cruser pulls away

stuffletsbetherapist:

[9:03:58 PM] Locke: David lit his underwater cigar and looked up at the reefs. Letting out a puff of bubbles he looked back at the scene of the crime. It was the 5th time this month that some random smuck got hit by an anchor. “Joe, who ever keeps doing this is one sick crabfucker.”Joe looked up from where he knelt, wiping the remains of the victim from his mouth. - i don’t know how to finish this, but the joke is food chain
[9:04:29 PM] Skeleton Factory .01: Jesus Christ, Joe.
[9:04:34 PM] Skeleton Factory .01: You sick crabfucker.

stuffletsbetherapist:

[8:45:16 PM] Coffee: Here lemme try it
[8:50:58 PM] Coffee: “What is it, what is it?” She wouldn’t shut up. She wouldn’t shut up and Nikolai was on his last nerve. Usually he was more tolerant than this, more compassionate and caring, but the very monster his incompetent partner was babbling at had been the exact thing to snatch off one of his legs. Between the unbearable pain in his guts and the unbearable screeching in his ears—or what would account for ears for their proud mantis shrimp race—he couldn’t think. And if he couldn’t think he couldn’t get them out of this situation. “I told you we shouldn’t have followed.” He hissed, his voice strained and barely a whisper over the loud cry of the pale meaty hand that reached for them. “This thing killed Jerry, it picked up those kids and just ate them too! You know what it is, stop screaming, stop asking!” And yet she didn’t shut up, she couldn’t shut up, not when it was reaching for her too, not when Nikolai could do nothing to stop it as fingertips pinched and plucked and ripped her right from his side…”RACHEL!”

shitletsbeTherapist: The gentle mechanical purr of the reel-to-reel tape was the only sound present on the recording in the interrogation room that afternoon. This lousy chum was giving them nothing, even when they had been at it for hours. The lamps in those rooms would'a ought'a been hot enough to cook roe, but these two were already hard boiled.
"Come on, you slippery dick, don't be playing games with me!" said the impatient crustacean, slamming his (fist?) down on the table, "I can see in twelve color channels and they all read "you're guilty", so quit wastin' our time and give up your partner."
For the first time in the interview, the goby spoke up. "I don't have a partner. I wasn't with anyone that afternoon."
"The Hell you didn't!" said the bellicose shrimp as he raised his many hands to strike the bottom feeder, when his partner chimed in to stop him.
"Woah, woah, man, calm down, take it easy! You lay a hand on this plaice of shit and you throw this whole case away."
Sighing aggravatedly, he lowered his hands down, turning his head back to his partner. "No worries, "man". I'm surf and turf."
Locke: here's a writing prompt kris: two detectives that happen to be mantis shrimp solving a mysterious crime
Skeleton Factory .01: Well the idea is to take bits and pieces of styles that you like and weave them into your own words.
shitletsbeTherapist: "The bad writers imitate, the great writers steal" - © me
Skeleton Factory .01: "Damn and blast," muttered Gallagher, tapping his number of feet on the curb as he shook his head at the sad sight. "Poor bastard must've been steamed before we even got in the car..." J whirled on his partner, stabbing his many limbs in his general direction, "How'd you know which street he'd be on, G? How'd you know where the body would be?!" J couldn't believe it. His own partner of twenty years, a suspect? Or maybe that's what the killer wanted him to be. He was a mantis shrimp, dammit! Yet he couldn't shake the feeling that he was nothing more than a prawn in this sick game...